"Well, it was a hard day as always. Working through blood and sweat just to provide for ourselves is tough. Having to do dirty jobs for these scums is tedious.
"Yeah we already know your situation, kid, scrum."
"God, who cares. You came here to work, not to whine."
"I would pay-- hey, where are you going lass?!"
I hate these people. I hate this village. I hate everyone. Why can't we have a normal life? If our dad wasn't using our funds to buy alcohol, we would've at least had stable lives.
And my mom... She's the worst. Why did she even end up with this literal scum of the earth?
"Oh I believe in redemption." Redemption my arse. That piece of trash is what constantly weighs us down. He keeps beating us to pulp, berating for "ruining his life", it's awful! Why are we forced to tolerate him?! Why can't we just leave him in a ditch?! Oh, and it's due to that unstable relationship with him does she keep lashing out on me, saying that *I* ruined her life by merely existing. Saying if I wasn't born, none of this would've happened.
I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask to be born in this hellscape. I would've been genuinely better off not being there at all. Yet I'm here. And it's all your fault.
And now she's pregnant with Mallow... Even if I heard cries... Just like with A[___]...
Well, at least I do have him.
He's in our room, playing with wooden figurines that I made during my lumberjacking. He's... The only visage of innocence that I have. It's only with him I feel truly... Like a child.
"Sylvie!"
It's only his eyes that shine with such light in them. A shine that makes my heart swell for once. He rushes to hug me and I prepare, he is a massive scamp that doesn't know his strength.
"Oof!"
"How's your job going?"
"... Alright. Still not enough to buy a loaf of bread though. And I would not waste it in candy either. I'm the oldest one here, remember?"
"Yeah..."
"... How's yours?"
"Fine, it seems I have gotten better at this whole "carrying rocks" thing. Dad's coworkers even praised me."
"Now that's a rarity."
I sit down on the floor, thinking of a game that we're going to play now. He is probably quite bored of playing with figurines, so they're out... Hm...
"Let's just lie down and contemplate. Your sister is out of ideas for today, she wants to have a break."
"Aww... Fine."
"Don't whine."
We laid down the floor, staring at the ceiling.
... I hate my younger brother.
He's so naive. He always thinks that I'm some sort of a grand figure that can provide him all the entertainment and when I don't - he gets disappointed. It's so stupid. And well, adults at least treat him somewhat kindly, him being younger than me and all - not unlike his "hag" of a sister that should "know better". He's constantly being coddled like a baby and I hate it...
... Yet I'm the one doing the vast majority of the coddling. Despite everything, his smile is what drives me to continue living. Seeing him even remotely silent or sad just makes me angry at the person who made him feel this way. And if it's me who is the reason, then I can't forgive myself for failing him. All I want is to give him the childhood that I was robbed of. To give him the fantasy that is in the books. Of a loving family, where you can live with no worry of tomorrow. I want him to continue smiling. To continue being a child.
I have given up on my hope long ago, so I want him to carry it in my stead. After all, he's my only sunshine. And the only person I truly care about.
"Sis, do you hate me?"
"Where did you get that idea, idiot?"
"... You always seem pretty frowny. Are you mad at me?"
"I will if you keep asking that question. I can be as frowny as I wanna be, hmph!"
I can't do it. Even if I actually wanted to, I can't. Once again, there is no hope for me. I'm forever cursed with having my innocence stolen away and torn apart. Smiling for me is impossible.
"... Jerk."
"Fine, come here, I didn't mean it. Of course I don't hate you."
Hugging him soothes my soul. Feeling him close just makes me feel like I'm about to burst into tears. Yet I can't. I'm his older sister, and despite everything, I'm still his idol.
"Sob... Grk... Sniff..."
Geez, where does he get all those delusions from? Sure he's annoying as all hell, but still... Maybe I shouldn't have thought of that at all. Maybe he's a psychic or something.
"There, your sister doesn't hate you. Just stop crying and she'll love you."
"R-Really...?"
"Yeah."
He melts into my embrace and calms down. I can feel his breath calming down in my arms and the shudders soon stop completely. Now he's just sleeping.
Maybe just like me, he does lie to me to make me feel better... He truly is stupid.
Well, soon I have to get up and meet our parents. Let me place him on the bed and tuck him nicely.