"It's a monster..."
"Son, please avert your eyes. You don't need to see this."
"God, please save us. Oh god, please save us."
Such a bother.
Just because I have some deformities caused by a parasite inside of me: people think that I'm a devil.
Not that... I should be even living by now. But it still sucks.
That old memory of mine...
I wonder if they secretly hated me as well, seeing me as a deadman among them.
I know she meant well. I know how much I desired to be seen as a human again... But god damn it.
"W-What can I do for you, m-miss?..."
"Quit yer whimpering, let me see..."
Do I look that terrifying?
Sure in stead of my eye - there's a flower parasite and I have those horn things protruding, but it can't be that bad.
"Here."
"T-T-Thanks miss..."
I should probably start furnishing that shack.
That shack once belonged to a farmer. I wonder the hell's happened to them?
When I first arrived here... Sure there was furniture and some taxidermy of the wild game... But oddly no mirrors. Were they superstitious?
"M-M-Monster!" Not this crap again.
"The hell are you lifting that puny pitchfork for? If I wanted to kill you, that wouldn't have been able to dent me. I've suffered worse."
Looking at the works of the carpenter, I find a mirror and...
Wow, I do look terrible compared to them.
Well, it would be nice to keep myself nice and clean.
"Here—Oi, no hiding in the counter."
"T-T-The way you lifted that mirror with ease... Y-You're truly a monster..."
"Tch, and I thought you men were stronger than that. Pathetic if you count that as 'relative' ease."
Hmm... Maybe I should also go to that public bath. It's been... Such a while since I had any amount of luxury. First I'll buy a soap and other amenities...
"H-Here you go, miss... I-If you need any help, you can freely visit our pharmacy, haha..."
"You're currently the nicest person I have met today."
"S-Sorry... It's just, um... I dunno how to handle someone like you... T-They didn't tell us about cases like you in the books..."
"It's alright. I usually just chug Virevite or smother myself with it."
"Guess that's one reason to study alchemy..."
And then go to the clean haven itself...
"Hieeeee!"
Yup, also going to clothier. Damn, come to think of it; only White Crow guys even had fresh clothes. Well, Bibi is a more of a scholarly person, so of course she would get very prissy about it.
~
"Nooooooo! I can't go out like that, Virgie!"
"Bijou, calm down!"
"And I mean look at Eremimi! She's so dirty! Please, just let us stop at clothier! Please please please! I'm already having a rash over thinking about it! Aurgh, how can you just walk like that?!"
"Oi! Cut it out with your stupid nicknames!"
~
My sense of smell is pretty much dead at this point due to my exposure to bloody carnage on a daily basis. And I suppose being a vagrant for so many years just does things to you.
Ahh... Such a nice feeling... I wonder, with Virgilia being away, will my parasite go on an outbreak?
It doesn't seem so. After months of suppression, I suppose it got so tired of struggling.
"M-Ma'am... Your body..."
"What about it?"
"It's half wood! And look at this! The water's all red now below you!"
"That's called cleaning myself. May I wash myself in peace?"
It... Genuinely feels so good.
I feel my hair slowly untangling itself and my body becoming more softer to touch.
That constant itchy feeling is finally subsiding.
I think I'll go here every week from now on.
"Pretty..."
"Hm?"
"Pretty!"
Aww, a kid.
"Hello there, little princess. Where's your mommy?"
"Mammy is in da laundry!"
"Hmm, I should check that too."
"Are ya new here?"
"Yup. People are calling me a monster though."
"That's sad!"
"Aww, you're a sweet kid, you know?"
"Marie!! There you are!" Oop, and there's the mother.
"Mammy, a pretty woman!" The child pointed at me as I awkwardly stood there as she eyes me up and down.
"... Sorry, I'll piss off."
"Um... Thanks?... Now, Marie - let me wash you thoroughly and we'll have a cake together."
"Caaake!"
...
"Um... Miss...?"
"Uh... Yeah?"
"I heard that there's a "laundree" from your daughter. Can I... See that?"
"Uhhhhhhh... Sure... Just let me wash my daughter for a second..."
Surprisingly a nice woman. Though very much confused and weirded out.
"Okay so since you're a new one here, this is where some of us wash our clothes. I mean, we can wash our clothes inside the comfort of our huts, but here there are some of the more advanced amenities. I've been coming here once a month and I usually just wash my daughter's hair so it won't get any lice infestation."
"Good to know... I'll quickly grab my rags over here."
"Sure."
...
"Okay, here they are."
"Oh god! What are those?!"
"My rags."
"I get that!—I mean god they look like the drabs of the poor victim in the woods!"
"...
I was that, at some point."
"Huh?"
We ended up chatting about my origin and surprisingly, in spite of her confusion, and in some parts, revulsion, she seems pretty curious about me. And over time, she... Became a bit sympathetic.
"So that's how it is... It's sad that you couldn't adventure with your partner anymore. It seems you were quite beloved in your team."
"Eh, nah, they also treated me as a freak of nature. And I s'pose that's true."
"I mean, from your words, it's not like you had much of a choice. It actually reminds me...
I once had a father. He was a good man. Was a local carpenter as well. He was seen as a local hero. But one day he got mauled by a bear and after he miraculously survived the attack - now everyone avoided him like a plague.
He couldn't walk anymore and we had to order a wheelchair from that other guy in the village. I remember as a teen driving him places and feeling contempt for others for how they treated him now.
On his funeral, only me and my mother were present. That's when I learned that some people... Are just vain to a fault. They only like you if you're up to their standards of a human being."
And she then slightly blushes, averting her eyes "So I suppose that's why I can understand you.
Don't get me wrong. You look, admittedly, pretty horrible with your mutilations caused by that flower thing in your socket. But I would've assumed you just brought it upon onto yourself as a some sort of screwed up way to rise to power.
Not... This."
"Hm; I would've loved to see his work."
"R-Really?" Uh, did I accidentally push on her feely buttons?
"I mean, sure. I always loved seeing people do crafts like these I think. And well, gotta pay respect to the guy. Us magicians are pretty used to it, so paying respects is just something pretty customary.
Damn maybe I should also buy some trinkets..."
"... You're a very curious individual. Guess judging people by their cover is truly a complete sham."
"I wouldn't say that. Honestly wouldn't blame you if you just didn't bother."
"Come on...
... Also, thanks for looking after my daughter. She seems to really like you.
Though PLEASE watch your language around her. Now she'll constantly pester me about what "piss off" means."
"Aye."
After washing my clothes, we head to the changing room and I realize...
I have no clothes.
"Are you an idiot?"
"Magician life."
"Great, now what are you going to do? I won't allow you to go out naked like that."
"Umm... Can I buy your spare, unused clothes?"
"What??? Also what do you mean 'buy'??????"
"Magician life."
"Maybe I'm lucky then..."
After some time.
"... God, you're a disaster! I know you're a magician and a former vagrant, but aurgh! You're even more of a baby than Marie!"
"Well, I would like to go to the clothier next..."
"Okay, let's go there, and then I can take my clothes back! God, and I feared I might have one less pair..."
Apparently, that woman's name is Mia. She is currently working as a junior seamstress and her husband had left her with a small child - explaining more mildly bitter attitude. She lives with her mother as well, who's living out her last days with her family.
Explaining my situation for me to her boss, he hesitantly began taking my measurements.
"Your skin feels very clammy, my lady. It's like I'm touching a corpse."
"Do you know how corpses feel like?"
"It's an exaggeration!"
As they work together on my new outfit, I look down on my body and onto the mirror.
Yeah I can see why they're pretty disturbed by me now. Half of my body is wood. My ring and pinky fingers are now wooden, along with my thumb on my right. Pretty much more than half of my torso is wooden, with flowers blooming ever so eerily. And my left thigh is also turned to wood. And looking behind - it's that cursed tail that I hate.
Can't sleep on my back because of that stupid thing.
"Um... Lady! Come over here."
They present me a red peasant dress and I put it on. Surprisingly way more comfortable than the old rags of mine.
"Now, miss, you look pretty stunning! Like a dragon carved from wood. Truly a sight to behold! Now - what is your name?"
I don't particularly remember at this point.
I went by Eremita before, but...
Oddly enough, I don't want to use it anymore.
Perhaps, it's because I want to finally let go off my past.
"I used to have it, but I chose to forsake it. Again, I was a wandering magician."
"Hmm... Mia, what do you think?"
"... Carmine. It's a colour of red we used. And you are a vampiric undead, no? I think it would fit..."
"...
...
What a stupid name!"
And so, I began slowly, but surely integrate into the village. People became less wary of me.
Sure some never dropped their suspicions of me and only tolerated me just because Virgilia saved them from calamity one day: but I'm now at least treated as an odd being and not a scary monster out to eat them.
I mean there's no denying my danger - but I would rather not live in malice.
And one man was interested in me.
"Hello there, miss. I see that you moved in to the old farmhand's house eh?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"That used to belong to my old buddy. He was also such a recluse like you, you know? He would usually keep it to himself. Only crawling out of his den to get the amenities."
"And? Why is it abandoned now?"
"Well, when you live far away from others, things happen I suppose. Don't get it too much in your head. Let's just say - there's a reason why that hut was uninhabitable."
"Hmm..."
"Anyway, are you interested in making some cash on your own? It seems you don't do much out here."
"Well yeah - I'm a magician. I've been living off of my savings. So what about it?"
"You see that barn over here? I actually have some leftover litter from my stock that I wanted to sell. Can't sustain them all. And well it would be a shame to see that barn unused - it used be quite lively."
"... You just want rivals, don't you?"
"Ehhh??? Nah. Just wanted to see what's the tumult about. You seem pretty cordial for someone... In your state."
"... You're a weirdo."
And so I've been left with bunch of baby animals to raise. That man taught me everything I need to know about this whole farming thing - and I began my small business.
Of course at first I needed to raise those runts - and to ensure the quality of their life: I would scavenge the forest for herbs and food. It's been a while since I frolicked on my own.
It reminds me of a memory so long forgotten. It oddly makes me feel both like an animal and a human again.
"Here you go, little babies."
I should put some "fortresses" around my home.
"I wonder if they'll suck any predators dry like this..."
What a bunch of weird looking daisies.
Well, since they're far away from little kids; let me test this...
Come here little rabbit...
*SQUEAK!!!*
... Feisty
And it keeps me fed.
Perhaps you aren't so bad after all... As long as I keep YOU in check.
...
"Who's here?"
"It's me, um, I think I forgot to introduce myself that day - but it's your friendly neighbour!"
"Come."
"Hello there—Hey, didn't you look a little different before?"
"Sorry, my mutation began to process again; so I do not go out much nowadays."
"Really? I came here to check on the flock I left you with - how are they goin'?"
"You can do it for yourself... I'm currently not feeling too well..."
...
"Hey, they look pretty good! I suppose you were quite serious about this."
"What the hell else did you want me to do? Eat them?"
"Guess you took my lessons to heart."
We had a tea time together and apparently his name Guillaume. He became a farmhand courtesy of his father and he is currently a bachelor - so he can't transfer his craft to anyone else.
Can't tell if he hated the former tenant or loved him. Though from the way people talk about this estate, you would think that this is a cursed house.
...
...
"Ah, hello Carmine, it's been a while..."
"Hello, Mia. How's the kid?"
"She's fine, but..." She points towards my overgrown horns and tendrils.
"Yeah, that. That's the reason why I don't go out now."
"Should we go to the doctor?..."
"Doctors do jack shit. Believe me, I tried multiple times and still didn't help."
"Mama, what do doctors do?"
"Marie! Go to sleep! Carmine! God! Do you never watch your own language?!"
"..."
"... Urgh, let's just try, alright?"
We visit a hospital together and as expected, they had no idea what to do about my darn parasite growing again.
"I suppose we can only cut the stray branches..."
They began to ax my horns and any other stray root and twig here. Now I resemble a little bit more like a human.
And when it came to my tail...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WHAT THE HELL?! IT FUCKING HURTS!!!
"Please stand with me, Ms. Carmine!"
"No! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Nope... I can't see this... BLRGH!!!"
Now my butt hurts.
"Yeah I suggest that you stay at the hospital for the time being. The blood loss is enormous..."
"FUCK!"
I had to ask Guillaume if he's able to look after the livestock for a little bit, to which he said he'll rather teach Mia to do it, given that he already has enormous one at his hand. Mia was obviously not a fan of this, but what else can I do at this moment?
...
"Oi, I'm back."
"Gee, finally. I've got way too tired taking care of these filthy and annoying animals."
"Aww, don't be mean to these babies. They're just being animals."
"Look, ma'am: I'm already responsible for for raising a child - and you saddled me with a dozen more!"
"Lemme check my funds..." I go inside my home and search my little stash.
Yup, starting to running out of money.
"Here. For your troubles."
"Tch. Don't make me do this job ever again! This place gives me creeps on its own already! Marie, come here sweetie - we're going back home. Auntie Carmine is finally back from hospital."
"Okaaaay~"
As Mia and her daughter pack their things, she turns towards me.
"So how are you feeling now?"
"Eh, a bit sleepy. Probably all this blood loss and whatnot."
"... I know you told me numerous times that you're inhuman, but... Keep yourself safe."
"Thanks."
Well, it's about time I start getting this jig up.
Looking at my stock, I pick out the most mature of the group and begin breeding them."A child needs its mother's care." Guillaume said, so it should be alright if I pick out the male one out of the pair.
I bring it to the secluded area of the barn and then...
*SHINK!*
It's been a while since I had laid my hands directly onto animals.
At first I felt horrible about eating them: as my hunger grew more uncontrollable, I desperately needed to feed - and to avoid hurting humans, I've chose to feed in wild life.
Seeing their pained and pleading eyes made me sick to my stomach, yet that hunger had different ideas.
It's odd that I remember that part as clear as day. I can only remember that I used to be a human and that I had to run away from my kin due to my infection.
It was maddening. Had it not been for Virgilia, I would've been nothing but a fellow wild animal in a shape of a human.
And now when the opportunity presented itself...
I suppose it won't hurt, right?
...
!!!
BLOOD. FINALLY. FRESH BLOOD.
Huh?!
YOU. CONSUME MORE. FEED ME MORE.
The hell?!
I NEED IT. WE NEED IT. WE HUNGER.
Shut up!...
I NEED IT. WE NEED IT. I NEED IT. WE NEED IT.
... Grah!!! Let... Me... Finish...
With great effort, I cut the remaining pieces, and stumbling, I store the meat into preserve jars. I then take a mad dash towards the forest, desperately searching for the kill.
I... I need it...
I need more blood... I need to suck it...
YES. WE NEED IT.
Where the hell is the game?! This is a forest, it's full of it!
... I SENSE IT. LET ME GUIDE YOU.
My feet began to move on their own, and soon enough I was prancing on all four like a beast. And before I could blink...
A relief.
Finally. A large bison.
Mmph... So tasty... So soothing...
The voice in my head has stopped ringing inside me. I swear I could just get inside his carcass and sleep inside of it, content.
Still... If my senses are back, that means sooner or later, I might hurt someone from the village.
Do you hear me? You seemed more clear to me this time. Before you were sort of like an instinct to me. Did you earn your voice?...
... HUNGRY.
You. The flower that cursed my life. That nested itself inside my body. I will not allow you to harm humans. Only when necessary - y'hear me?!
... NO INTEREST.
I slipped. It was thanks to you that I acquired the taste for blood. I couldn't resist it. But know that it was my will that let that happened. Not you. So you better listen to me!
... NO GUARANTEES.
If you try to do something funny, I'll make sure we won't hurt anyone else. I may have lost my humanity, but I do not intend to make others suffer for it.
... UNDERSTOOD.
And so that's how my life went.
I began cultivating my own stock, slowly bleeding into the village life. My oddities still made people wary of me, but they at least keep it to themselves.
I would occasionally meet up with others, but it was just small talk.
I was particularly close with Mia and Guillaume as the first people to not treat me like a monster the first time we met each other.
With Mia we would have pleasant tea parties together, with me occasionally playing with Marie as a cool tree lady... Even if I had to watch my darn language around them. I got to know her family much closer now and something deep inside me deeply missed that feeling of familial belonging.
With Guillaume we would have more business oriented talks with tea cups in hand. He would give me advice on raising animals and where can I find more livestock. He seems pretty impressed by my progress, now considering me a full-fledged rival...
Though his attempts at flirtations fall flat for the simple reason that I'm simply not interested.
It was not too shabby.
That was... Until they showed up.
The Black Ravens.
The lowly bandits.
As my survival instincts dulled, upon a knock of the door, I absent-mindedly opened the door...
And met with a gun stock to my face.
In my dazed state, they tied me up with a holy chain to a chair and pointed a knife towards my face.
"You..."
They began to interrogate me. They took my stock. They took everything they could.
"Where are the White Crows?"
"The hell would I know?—KHHHHHHH!!!!" I feel hot iron brand on my skin, burning away at my skin.
"Where. Are. The. White. Crows?"
"Tch... Eat shi—"
Next was the boot to my teeth.
They tortured me. Trying to get the information from my mouth. But I didn't budge.
No matter how much they brand me. No matter how much they kick me. I still stood my ground...
And then...
".... W-What... are you... doing?..."
"No use in keeping the bloodsucking weed alive."
They poured kerosene onto me and my surroundings and threw a single match. My body was screaming and I thrashed around, trying get out of my bounds.
"GET BACK HERE!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!!!"
I don't know for how long the fire lasted. It might've been "infused" kerosene with magical properties. I know those bastards deal with magical "constructs". For me it felt like an eternity in hell. And the rain only made things worse, as it only amplified the flames.
But eventually, it finally stopped. My charred body wanted to know if others are safe and...
They're all ruined.
Everyone had closed their hearts again out of fear.
They're now a territory of Black Ravens.
Many were left either destitute or dead.
There was only one person I wanted to see...
Wanted to know if she managed to survive this whole ordeal.
And...
She was gone.
The only person remaining in that house was Mia's elderly mother, who was sobbing uncontrollably.
Marie had her top half of the head crushed to pieces. And there were two chairs...
Sick bastards.
Unfortunately, even the grandmother wasn't long for this world. After a while, in my ruined state, I attended her funeral.
And after that, I shut myself down in that house.
That humanity I strived to reclaim... Was gone.
It's better to let myself turn into a mound of tendrils and spikes.
...
...
...
---
"Ahhh! I don't wanna get up!"
"Miss! Your recovery is fully completed! Now please stop occupying our beds!"
"Tch, fine. You all seem to hate elderly so much."
...
"Hey, miss Carmine. Is there... Anything I can learn now?"
"You again? Eh, like I said, magic is something that is sustained by you fantasy and imagination. I'm pretty sure I can't teach you any more."
"..."
"This old lass just wanted to have one last rendevouz. One last journey. Honestly surprised you even appeared here."
"?"
"Would you like to come closer?"
"... Yeah."
"...
I don't have much time yet. That flower... Also doesn't have much time yet.
The feast was plentiful, yet wasn't sustainable.
That shell will soon break. And soon you'll finally see me bloom."