"Hey, Yukino, how's it going?"
To my surprise, Denji greets me first. Sure sometimes I arrive earlier than him, but even then I typically greet him first. It seems he's hiding something.
"Well, not much is happening. You?"
"I... I found a place where we could hang out in. So if you're not busy today, we can go check it."
Did he?... Did he take initiative??? No way. I'm usually the one proposing stuff! Not him. Who is this and where are they hiding Denji?
"?... Is something wrong?"
"... Nothing." I lie and as always sees it right through.
"Aw, come on! I can't just let you do all the deciding. Sometimes I gotta take the lead - and while I'm not sure how much you'll like it, it is certainly something that both of us can enjoy."
"Show me what'chu got then!"
After our periods, Denji leads me to the amusement park. He doesn't look at me at all, but I can see a slight blush colouring his face.
"... We've arrived."
"Aww, you're such a sweetheart - Denji. Taking such a fair lady such as myself to a park~"
"S-Shut up..."
"No really, it is nice. So, which rides did you have in mind?"
"Well..."
Despite his awkwardness, he showed me around the rides with strides. Of course, there were roller coasters (which I had to actually lecture him on, since he was thinking about how much I'll enjoy the rides, with no regards to his wellbeing), swings, bumper cars, boats and finally the Ferris wheel.
"Ha... It's nice to have something relaxing as a finisher." Denjirou sighed to which I chide him once more
"You really kept thinking about what'll be fun for me only, huh?"
"... I wanted to step out of my comfort zone. Of course I thought of what could be fun for you, but I thought if I chose the more exciting rides, I would finally be over my anxieties. You were always a bold person, you know?"
"Oh? To me you felt more bolder of us two with how brashly you speak."
"... You are aware that it's me trying to defend myself? Like... I'm trying to shake the feeling of fear inside of me by spouting nonsense like that. If I do not say such things... I'm afraid I'll crumble away."
"But you don't have to be afraid of me. We've known each other for quite a while, no?"
"Even if you say that, I simply can't let go of such habits. I would've told you one anecdote, but, hah... I don't wanna ruin the moment."
"No, it's fine. We still have plenty of time."
"Alright... Brace yourself, it's not pretty.
So you know how we moved from place to place and that my parents died?
Well, sometimes my mom would lash out at me... Badly. And when we seemed to have settled in one place, some ominous people would start knocking; and my grandma had to move once more. I was so nervous all the time and I just wished I could cancel out the noise.
Once everything calmed down however, I still felt that anxiety. I would often hide in the corner of my room and when my grandpa was knocking - I would flinch. To me, for the longest time, nothing felt safe. It took me years to finally be somewhat at peace, but there was also the issue of bullying.
My timid character is what let others to take advantage of me and mock me. It's only when I started speaking up, did some of the bullying subside. And well to other part - I had to deal with that with fists."
"Oh."
"So if I was unnecessarily rude to you, my apologies. Even at your earnest, I felt that anxiety of losing you. Of... Being humiliated by you and trampled to the ground."
"It's alright. I found it pretty charming actually, even if some words did hurt, a lot."
"But yeah, I was envious of you. How you carried yourself with such freedom, without a care in the world. And when challenges went your way, you took them in stride."
"........... That's not true."
"?"
"I am too - a coward. I jump into action precisely because I'm afraid. Like if I don't do this or that, then it's all over. People place high expectations on me on being able to deliver. And said veneer of 'carelessness'? I suppose it's just like how you speak with such abrasiveness, it's just a defence mechanism. I try to distract myself from the future waiting for me. I know I have to hold it out, but... How much longer I can hold?"
"... I believe you can do it. I had to hold it out, but look how much it turned out for me. I now live in more or less stable environment. Sure I'm not particularly that rich, but it's alright. Soon I'll be earning my own keep. And well, if I hadn't held out - I wouldn't have met you."
"!!!"
My heart is beating fast. I don't know what to say and I can't move. I breathe calmly, but I'm still paralyzed in my seat.
"You alright?"
I shake my head. No I'm not alright. But... It's not like I'm suffering either. Come on, just move it, Yukino.
"...
Don't mind if I do."
His hand grabbed mine, interlocking our fingers. And with some partial hesitation I feel it.
"Chu..."
His lips were dry, but warm on the back of my hand. At this point I felt like I short-circuited. Up to now, I thought I would be leading the charge, but no. He stepped up too. Does that mean that the feeling's mutual.
"I have a bottle of water."
"Y-Y-Yeah, just what I needed."
In my anxiety, I gulped up voraciously, trying to calm my nerves. The bottle emptied in an instant and I wipe my lips with the back of my hand, the same one where he kissed me. And then I finally sat near by his side.
"Eh?"
"Idiot... Making me feel like that... That's so ungentlemanly."
"Hm..."
I was hugging his arm as he averted his eyes to the outside view. Of course he feels awkward too. After a while, he spoke.
"The view here is nice, Yukino."
I look to the outside as well and... Yeah. The evening sky colouring the town below us amber is nice.
"I wanna elope with you, Denjirou. Away from everyone. So that no one will bother us."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Even if our journeys through the dream world were uneventful, for once I felt like only you and I existed.
I don't like people, Denjirou.
The people at university keep eyeing us. And my parents simply do not approve of us. Hell, at the park people were eyeing us. I wish we lived in society where people didn't care for others.
I don't want to be bound by what I am Denji."
He dislodged his arm from my grasp to wrap it around me.
"Someday."