Where am I? My body feels like it's floating in an endless void. I try to move my limbs, but they're locked. Disembodied voices begin to ring in my mind, they seem distressed.
I don't know what is going on...
"Greetings once again."
???
Before me appears a man with a golden moth for a head.
"It seems you've met an unfortunate fate? Or perhaps the most fortunate?"
"What... What are you talking about?"
"You should be able to recall that. The fact that should be contradicting your state."
...
...
!!!
Right, I should be dead. And if it's supposed to contradict that fact... That means I'm still alive somehow.
"Your body is broken to pieces. You won't be able to emerge any time soon. Your soul is still in its starting steps of being dissolved in chrysalis."
"Dissolved?!"
"That is to ensure that you won't see this place as a prison. To speak in your earthly terms, it's equivalent to anesthesia. Your body is very sensitive to pain and intrusions - so they apply anesthetics to make the process comfortable. Pulling teeth without it is a rather torturous experience, no?"
"..."
"You already went through this procedure before, albeit the cause of it was more merciful than now. Your brain had chose to forget what happened willingly."
"..."
"You'll be only left with your emotions, essence that makes you human.
Now, let me lead you to the "Lethe", in the world of dreams - worries and toiling are considered impurities."
Holding out my hand, the man leads me through the void. In that void, I see the stars floating around.
"I am a mere fragment of a larger entity that monitors the living souls of the man. I simply exist to guide humanity towards a better future."
"... Is there even such a future for me?..."
"Perhaps. It depends on your will. You're still young and there is hope for you. There's still a miracle waiting to happen. You just only need to seize it and hold onto it. Miracle by itself will not save you."
"..."
After a while, I see a gentle glowing river.
"We've arrived. Bathe in it and even the eternity will pass in an instant."
"... Okay."
I've hesitated. A lot. I didn't want to forget my memories of him. Despite everything, I still love him. I was simply afraid that he'll rescue me, the one who wanted to die. There are painful memories, joyful memories, sad memories, intimate memories. I want to treasure them for all eternity, but alas - I have brought misery upon myself and I can only blame myself for it.
I failed everyone. My parents, my grannies, my love and my fiancé. They shouldn't be feeling pain at the thought of someone as worthless as me dying a pitiful death.
I thought I had solved everything, prepared everything, only to regret it - spending my last moments trying to undo something that couldn't be undone.
And so I fall.
And before I knew it, I felt like I was splitting into two. Then in four.
I felt like I was becoming purified. Yes, it was how it was supposed to go. My soul became lighter and lighter.
My sorrows, my anger, my happiness, my wisdom. They're now four.
Sorrowful Jabberwocky, forever cast away into the shadows of mind. The one who's heart breaks for him.
Turbulent Yukihime, serving as the fierce protector of the sisters. She is the one that holds animosity towards him for abandoning her.
Innocent Rigelis, trapped in endless joy and whimsy to ensure a semblance of relief from all the pain. She is the one who will hold curiosity towards him.
And Wistful Gentian, buried deep within. She'll hold the memories of him.
Now it's time for me to say goodbye.
Hopefully we'll never meet each other again, because I don't want to burden you with my pitiful existence.
I've lived and died like a coward.