One year later...
"Oh, it's you."
I was waiting outside Yukino's hospital room because I was told someone else was visiting her. Out of the door emerged that same man.
"..."
"I've heard that you're the only one who's paying to keep Yukino alive even after a year."
"Why the hell are you not paying? Aren't you supposed to be her fiancé or someone?"
"I would if I could, but after that incident, my parents have low opinion of Minamoto family, saying I shouldn't be wasting my time on them. Visiting her is the most I can do, my finances are being tracked daily."
"Oh..."
"... Maybe I did love that woman after all. Maybe. I'm not sure. If we had met under more reasonable circumstances, then I wonder if we would've had a genuine relationship? It was moreso a mutual pity relationship, neither would've been happy."
"..."
After that incident and my resignation notice - I've been struggling with money for a long time. It's not like my job paid me much in the first place - but being reminded of my failures again and again took a toll on me.
I could technically live off just like that for a while, but after even Yukino's own parents given up on her, I'm the only one who's paying the bills. When I had confronted them on it, their gaze no longer held the contempt for me, but rather fear and regret.
From their perspective, letting her pass away is a mercy granted.
Am I a selfish man for wishing that she would wake up to face the day? All I want for her is to wake up, to break free from that illusion that is keeping her captive.
I can't just let another person wither away before me.
"Is something the matter?"
"... Please... Can you... Help me with my job? I've resigned from my old one. Just don't let it be hospitals. Please, no more. I know you have all the good reasons to ignore me, but please... I just want to see her alive..."
"..."
The man stood tall above me. Not even he has energy to regard me with contempt. That or he views me as pitiful. A broken shell.
"... There is a school you can assign to. I've graduated from it long ago and maintain some contact with its teachers. They seem to lack proper medical staff, but I'll try to ask around if that's still the case."
"... Thank you... Thank you..."
"I'm only doing this for Minamoto's happiness. She already suffered enough. And I wonder how much of it is your own fault too.
I'm also—
—on my path
to repentance for bringing her great suffering.
Once I'll see her again, all I want to say is that I'm sorry."
The man walked away.
And I'm left with broken dreams.
---
Prologue:
In the vast garden, many flowers bloom of various colours. None of them are blue or red however - these flowers are buried deep within, hidden away, for their thorns are too much to bear.
The lady of the striking summer dressed in red and the lady of gentle winter sit dressed I white by the outdoor table, chatting about happiness - sipping black tea.
"I make sure to comb her hair neatly. She's a rather rowdy girl, you know?"
"Every time she goes to sleep, I kiss her goodnight, as a warding spell to keep the nightmares away."
Amidst the garden, a lone girl was taking a nap.
It seems that before she had a vision of the sky splitting into four, but now she can't recall it.
This girl is cherished and loved by all for her beauty and kindness. No days go by without residents singing praises. She is their treasure.
Some say her name is Rigel. Other insist that she's Lily. For some she is equivalent to Alice.
But her true name is never known. Because it was not supposed to be.
---
Epilogue:
After undergoing a qualification process, I've finally arrived at the place of my new job. People here are understandably unsettled. They say kids can pick up on emotions much more easily so it's advised to simply fake that everything's alright.
What a fucking joke.
This place is hell. Where both teachers and students are forced to mask their pain just to not inconvenience each other. While I doubt in that recommendation, that man had any ill will, it's certainly a fitting punishment if he had set his eyes on it.
And it's all so vapid as well. Teachers enforcing their fantasies onto students, and students lost in their own fantasies, refusing to look at reality. School overall just feels a place more alien than the real world, where meaningless expectations and markers are placed. This crap doesn't even prepare them for university life at all, and that already sells you the falsified idea of reality.
Still. I was warned about something the first time I got hired.
"A student will be transferring to our high school from middle school. Since you're a health room teacher, please support them in their journey to acclimatization to our environment. They've suffered through a horrible traffic accident, which left them as the sole surviving twin of the two."
At first I was apathetic, as horrific as it sounds. I've already had my load to bear, and I had no energy to waste on a some student.
However meeting up with them, I've peered into something hollow. Something... Similar to me.
They clearly did not want to be saddled with me, but I can tell that it's all just to deny the fact that they need any amount of help - as it serves to remind them of their own pain.
"What's your name, kiddo?"
"... Kanroji."
At the request of both staff and their mother, I kept a close eye on them - but that student simply won't cooperate no matter what I do. It feels like I'm stuck in perpetual cycle of mutual contempt. Neither of us want to be here.
And returning home... My dreams had become violent. My hatred for how much had humanity moved on without me had boiled over. How can they pretend that everything is fine? That the life won't go crashing down on them?
I only see it fit to punish them. To make them snap out of the illusion. If you get lost in a fantasy, it's hard to get back to reality - so I want to create a fantasy that is worse than reality. So that no one will rush towards it no more.
I've failed one person. I won't let that mistake happen again.